Tuesday, 24 January 2012

Crippled Black Phoenix - (Mankind) The Crafty Ape [2012]

First of all – dear band, I'm sorry. I really wanted to hold on to original release day, but I so need you these days, I couldn't refuse trying the leak. Still, I humbly promise to buy your album the moment it enters stores. But today's story isn't about my remorses – it's supposed to focus on newie from one of the most fabulous modern bands. Crippled Black Phoenix. (Mankind) The Crafty Ape. How ironic and yet actual this phrase is.

What can you do when everything you touch, turns into horror and failure? Yup, that was my today and I bet all of you experience it sometimes. So, any ideas? Well, if the lecturer kicks you out of the classroom, it is honestly a good idea to spontaneously go to the theater. It's not pretty bad to get lost as well. And that's where music becomes quite useful.

The Thread, they called the first part.
All of sudden, I find myself in the wrong bus. Scared, I jump out of it and recognize, I don't have a clue of where I am. Ok, calm down, J., just play some music and we'll find the way home. Hmm, let's check this new CBP. Oh, wow! That is indeed quite a threatening beginning! But it fades into idyllic shadow so soon... Let's buy some bread, I think we forgot about dinner again... Oh! My! Check the song's title, check that! Heart Of Every Country – what a guitar, mmm, I'm delighted. And it resolves with such a calm passion, wasn't Opeth like this before they fucked up? Or maybe rather Gilmour! Knopfler in his best years! That must be a great lyrics, pay attention next time! That bread ain't too fresh, but mmm, just eat it and walk. Awww, guitar solo and such deep piano! I think some people claimed it was 'one of the finest work by Pink Floyd', I second that!

No, I don't. That must be next track, Get Down and Live With It. Voices in the background, that's quite CBP's taste... oh, and drums like in King Lupus! Strings! Hmm, I really prefer female vocals like this, than those from Of a Lifetime, nice lows. Joe and cello! So much power do I feel. And isn't it the castle over there? If I get to it, I'll find out where I am. Yes, CBP will let me do that. Hah - le me walking dark streets with such epic passages in my ears! You can hide, Leo:P All post rock bands can hide as well. Next point? (In the Yonder Marsh) Well, that's probably what will offend PF fans most – a combination of heart beating, bells and electronic fuzzes in a space-like package. I don't think I mind though. Ups, did I sing And you run, and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking aloud? That guy gave me such a strange look.

Air gets thicker now, as I get into some darker streets and I can't say A Letter Concerning Dogheads and its pessimistic atmosphere raise my heart up. But hey, I already know this song! It's a famous The Brain / Poznan, inspired by us, Polish fans<3 That's upbringing indeed. I'll have to praise those amazing instrumental parts if I ever write a review! What's the time? Ok, minute 6, noted. Oh, look Joanna! It's Old Town! I'm almost home.

Chapter II (The Trap):
Laying the Traps... That song lays good in my legs, how about a little walk before we reach home..? A hot coffee would be good idea as well... OH MY GOD!! *spills half of the coffee* Aaaa! Those drums!! I so wanna play that rhythm on my imaginary drum! And the chorus is terrific, note to self: listen thousand times to this song. They apparently wanna keep up pace in this part... yes, I'm definitely gonna walk a while longer. Wow, saxo?! Is it saxo Born In a Hurricane? Love the rock&roll ending! And now they Release The Clowns? r&r slow motioned? That's a really sexy tune, guess if such a music freak as me wanted to seduce somebody, she could use it as a musical help:P (What?) is it? Judging by greek-like guitar and chapter's name – I'd say somebody successfully sent a Horse to Troy.

Chapter III (The Blues of Man):
Ok, we've reached home. We should study. A Suggestion (Not A Very Nice One). I think I'll choose finishing this splendid album first. This song has a great, lazy base (drums&bass and bluesy voice) + broken rhythm. Yay, my feet love kicking rebelliously to it! But there comes an oriental bridge (Dig, Bury, Deny) and I'm watching Asia-oriented pics with my mind's eyes. Not for long - Operation Mincemeat – moves me to England and its foggy fields in the early, cold morning. It's the most incredible waltz I've ever heard, drifting in melancholy and dew.  

We Will Never Get Out This World Alive however – a sad, balanced piano miniature, urm, shall I say 'eargasm!' – puts my tired feet on the melancholic path leading straight to Faced With Complete Failure, Utter Defiance Is the Only Response – opus magnum – 15minutes of musical masterpiece, that proves CBP are beyond all genres, and no matter what elements of them they use – they become even better. I didn't joke about buying that album! And when I'm done, I'll find my old discman and take even longer evening walk.

Use your anger to creatively destroy your oppressors - as they say. Thank you my dear, now I'll study in peace.


  1. Good one. I enjoy reading this review. And a really good album. Vinyl version just arived today ;)

    Greetings from Germany

  2. Thank you, I was afraid it might seem a bit chaotic:) Jealous of you getting it! it's still not avalaible here, I can't wait!